then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
