I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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