I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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