Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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