It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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