how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Everyone says I win the strip club
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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