Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
