Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
