she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
