It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
