I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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