do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
