I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
