Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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