What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
