is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
