11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
did you get engaged???
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
