he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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