found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My first STD was from a foam party
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
