oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
