Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
