You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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