So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize