3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
