Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We had sex on a dog bed..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
