I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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