nut hugger
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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