he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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