The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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