That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
