you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
