I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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