mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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