Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
