I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
