I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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