based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
