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• (925): View more from California

  I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.

  (916): View more from California

  You're drunk. Make complete sentences.

  (925): View more from California

  It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes

  (360): View more from Washington

  OMG haha What did he say?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine

  (210): View more from Texas

  I’m looking forward to few days of international relations

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