ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize