we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
