So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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