Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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