I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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