On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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