I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
