it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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