Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
