Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
