Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime

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  (440): i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime http://tfl.nu/8e5t
  Replies (23) Good night (832) Bad night (5984)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.

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  (508): VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING. http://tfl.nu/vx02
  Replies (22) Good night (5230) Bad night (791)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...

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  (631): Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas... http://tfl.nu/m2r4
  Replies (19) Good night (6181) Bad night (947)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I have a critically important question to ask.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?

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  (519): I have a critically important question to ask. (519): Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist? http://tfl.nu/val5
  Replies (43) Good night (5351) Bad night (1443)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'

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  (205): When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life' http://tfl.nu/863e
  Replies (26) Good night (6962) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit

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  (770): Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit http://tfl.nu/tode
  Replies (12) Good night (4289) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?

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  (+45): You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right? http://tfl.nu/cwve
  Replies (9) Good night (4059) Bad night (1723)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.

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  (860): It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it. http://tfl.nu/6u0x
  Replies (2) Good night (2634) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.

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  (978): She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch. http://tfl.nu/wlr1
  Replies (6) Good night (693) Bad night (2012)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.

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  (940): I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight. http://tfl.nu/7wi4
  Replies (5) Good night (648) Bad night (1031)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.

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  (251): Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling. http://tfl.nu/lulr
  Replies (4) Good night (362) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked

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  (443): Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked http://tfl.nu/rzkm
  Replies (0) Good night (707) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Lord god protect this child

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  (770): Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me (603): Lord god protect this child http://tfl.nu/t9s3
  Replies (3) Good night (622) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  be right there i have to get my cape

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  (212): be right there i have to get my cape http://tfl.nu/i9cb
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.

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  (512): I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer. http://tfl.nu/7huv
  Replies (3) Good night (222) Bad night (632)

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