Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.

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  (443): There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now. http://tfl.nu/lz21
  Replies (37) Good night (964) Bad night (2214)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.

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  (646): Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister. http://tfl.nu/1b2r
  Replies (15) Good night (688) Bad night (4138)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.

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  (864): I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me. http://tfl.nu/y5s2
  Replies (30) Good night (5935) Bad night (1274)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers

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  (617): i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers http://tfl.nu/ovgd
  Replies (23) Good night (1073) Bad night (4815)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.

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  (973): My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year. http://tfl.nu/yrzl
  Replies (10) Good night (2015) Bad night (3397)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.

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  (570): Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful. http://tfl.nu/oenz
  Replies (6) Good night (1826) Bad night (1045)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.

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  (215): I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse. http://tfl.nu/a9fq
  Replies (6) Good night (1667) Bad night (899)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Threesome in a minivan. New low

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  (907): Threesome in a minivan. New low http://tfl.nu/igpy
  Replies (15) Good night (1881) Bad night (1047)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.

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  (206): Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night. http://tfl.nu/k94l
  Replies (7) Good night (1810) Bad night (720)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Please tell me you're talking about his personality.

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  (347): Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year. (917): Please tell me you're talking about his personality. http://tfl.nu/ofhy
  Replies (7) Good night (2481) Bad night (1326)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  that actually explains a lot

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  (847): you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night (1-847): that actually explains a lot http://tfl.nu/hgfk
  Replies (3) Good night (1684) Bad night (594)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.

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  (864): I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out. http://tfl.nu/hn3q
  Replies (3) Good night (2082) Bad night (919)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.

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  (206): Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys. http://tfl.nu/t4sn
  Replies (6) Good night (1175) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...

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  (856): his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits... http://tfl.nu/dl6r
  Replies (3) Good night (735) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.

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  (919): Its like I've been given a sexual blank check. http://tfl.nu/9gvj
  Replies (0) Good night (744) Bad night (314)

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