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Non-Jews are for practice
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
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