Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together