Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
