Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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