My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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