the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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