so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
