Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i already hear my dad disowning me
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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