what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
